I would like some advice about my husband?
| 
Author:
We have been married for 6 years and together for 9 we have 3 boys together and a baby on the way. We got married young and pretty much grew up together but he has not yet done it fully. I am a stay at home mom/student which does everything in the house ect. I would like to see my husband more but he is addicted to the dream of becoming a pro bass fisherman. He goes all the time. When he is not working he is fishing. Tournements meating ect. I am exhausted beyond belief with having to raise our 3 children and going to school I have nothing left I am spent. He moved me away from my family and friend to move to wis and follow his parents 3 years ago. I have noone here and haven’t been in the working feild because childcare is too much. We don’t do anything together and he hardly sees his kids not to metion their is no romatic time ever… I love him and I know he loves me and the kids but sometimes I feel like an only parent. Can you help me should I feel this way or what??
Tags: 17 Responses to “I would like some advice about my husband?”
Leave a Reply
- Don Barone: A Field Of Tears
- KVD's World: Building positive attitudes
- Elites make first-ever stop at West Point Lake
- Practice and you can cast inaccuracies aside
- Brandon Palaniuk on small river fishing
- Charlie Hartley: Crawdad Eating Awards
- Elite anglers collect bonus awards
- Jones' West Point attack strategy
- Missouri floods dangerous to boaters
- Corkran returns as B.A.S.S. Federation director
Yes you should feel that way. Your husband is being selfish. I am married and I take the time to cherish my wife and child. I help with the housework and help with the baby, after all he is my child as well. Tell your husband that you didnt marry to spend all your time alone. Tell him that he needs to be part of a family. Explain to him that you need him to be there for you and your children. Failing all of that, your marriage is doomed sad to say to fail.
I think your husband loves himself more then you or his family.
This is a very big problem and a red flag in a relationship. The only advice I have for you is that you need to talk to your husband immediately. It really does sound like you both love eachother, but he needs to know this stuff. He needs to know ALL of this. Sit him down and tell him how you are feeling. Communication is key. Good luck!: )
You have a baby on the way with a man like this. So you are so lonely that your making your own company miserable.
He moved you away from your family and friend. Lady you need to stop playing the victim and accept things or move back with momma
The best way to resolve this is to sit down and talk to him about everything. Ask him what drives him, and also let him know your situation. The fact that you stay at home and go to school, plus raising your kids, that you need help. I think it’s selfish for him to ignore his parental/husband duties for a dream that may not come true. I wouldn’t be confrontational about it. Show him you need help and that everything going on is his responsibility also. If things get worse or don’t change even after this, then that tells me and should tell you you have bigger issues on your hand other than his dream job, you know?
I am not being a smart ass….LEARN TO FISH!!. Learn more than he knows. who knows maybe you will make it on the bass circuit and believe me there is a whoooooooooooole lot of $$$$$$$$$$$$ there. If he does make it you will be rich. but if you take such an interest in his hobby things will change believe me.
I understand why feel the way you do. You should talk to him about it.
Talk to him honestly. Don’t hold back – do it calmly and ask for his help. You created this family together and you should be raising it together. Fishing is not going to raise his family. He needs to be active with the family and you need to stand up for your family. Don’t expect him to read your mind or understand your sighs– it won’t happen. Communicate with him. Best to get a sitter and go to a park or somewhere quiet to talk- really talk.
your feeling is valid and substantiated, If he is the type that understand when you talk to him directly. find a baby setter for few hours, talk to him seriously about it. make sure that he is listening and ask for genuine help. if it did not work, see a wife of one of his fishing buddies and come up with a plan. if everything else fails, start finding ways to rewind you and get out of this arrangement. Yes, I meant divorce, then he may wake up and prioritize his time. I like fish, but family is more delicious
Of course you should feel this way and you should be very angry at your husband for making you feel this way. It isn’t healthy to be stuck at home by yourself, taking care of the kids. It gets very lonely. Your husband is supposed to be your support and your companion. He is supposed to cherish you. I would recommend seeking counseling. I’ve been through the same thing, and that helped us. Good luck to you!
Well for starters you are probably exhausted from pregnancy and parenting. I would get a babysitter somehow and go out somewhere and have a nice little ‘come to Jesus” talk with him. Make a list of things you want to discuss-try not to be confrontational, let him know how upset you are about the whole fishing thing and what can he do to help you more? I would suggest selling all his gear on Craig’s list but that might set him off, Tell him you need him to take the kids more so you can get rest and ready for this 4th child. Try to work out a schedule that includes him taking these kids off your hands for at the very minimum a few hours a week so you can mentally recharge, not just so you can go grocery shopping-something else he can help with. Also plan to spend some weekends with your family, hopefully within a few hours of driving range,at least once a month to get away and let them help you, I am sure they would like to see the kids more and if they can stay with family you can get a break too. Anyway try not to nag but make him see how important it is that he sees this as a crucial time in your relationship and how critical it is that he pays attention, besides if you split up he would have to sell his gear to pay for child support(last resort)
I think you should sit down and talk to your husband about how you feel and your marriage situations.
at first tlak with your husband and tell him, or start to do what he isdoing, like try to learn fishing, and then go with them all, even with your kids, when he is going teornoment why dont you go with them, if he is with all men, say him that you want to participate, little by little he will understand. you make a plan that you do all family together, maybe he is looking you dont offer any plan so he is doing for himself, you are a good home lady but maybe he is thinking you dont like to go out or whatever.
Do you think if you have a lot of kids he will kick in and be a real dad? He is letting you have your babies because that is what he thinks will make you happy. You pretty much are tied up for the next 14-16 years with being a parent to all the kids.
Sorry, but this is really too far gone to turn around. He is not going to change.. my bet is.. even if you die, he will just have him mom or a new girl friend step in and take over the kids.
Learn to make your life with just you and the kids, because that pretty much is the only choice you have.
wow, you have every right to feel the way you do. hubby needs to be more considerate of your feelings and being pregnant in itself is draining without 3 other children and a household to run. i truly dont know how you do it.
i say its time for a long heart to heart with hubby. be blunt but nice and make your point. you and your kids deserve his time more than the dang bass do.
he has a family and thats where his priority should be.
hes being very selfish….time for hubby to grow up and take care of the IMPORTANT things.
get a sitter and the two of you take a night off TOGETHER. start there and make sure he understands your point.
its ok to have hobbies, actually its good….but thats a little too much hun.
good luck and congrats on baby #4
Men do not bound with children as fast as women do. he may be obsessed with his fishing because he is just trying to get out of the house. maybe he is feeling overwhelmed with 3 kids and you being pregnant. pregnant women can be moody and kids are loud. he may be tired and trying to escape. he loves u guys, thats why he is still married. but he may also be longing for his youth and freedom.
U can try to get him more involved by helping him bond more with the children. send them fishing with him, insist on it. once he has properly bonded, he will try to be more part of their life. hes also going to need space. if ur a stay at home mom, u probably rely on him for all ur emotional support. this can be a burden for men, who are not as emotional at women. u need to reach out to other women and get some support elsewhere. he cannot be ur only source because he may not be able to handle it.
that may be why he is distancing him self. if ud like to reach out to other married women, theres a great support group for young married couples. see my profile for more details or u can email me.
Fishing addict I know them well. My husband LOVES fishing. I just sent him on a weekend get away for a deep sea fishing trip. My hubby go fishing at least once a week. I say good for him. Couples need to do things that they like. Even though you are married with children that doesn’t mean you are no longer individuals without your own needs. Did you and your husband discuss the move before hand? Did you agree? Then you can’t complain now. As far as the fishing, did you know about his dream before? Did you discuss this as a couple and come to an agreement? You should have prior to any of this happening.You can’t renege on any agreement you have made. I believe that your husband should take more time for his wife and children. They are a priority in his life,a commitment that he made and should follow through on it. You said that you moved near his parents, so ask them to help you with the kids. Even if it is just for a few hours a week. You haven’t made any friends in three years? Why not? Have you checked into getting assistance with the daycare programs in your area through social services. They may be able to help with the cost. Sit down and talk to {not at } your husband and tell him how you feel. Don’t be a *itch about it either. You need to support his dream and the things he wants to do just as he is supporting you and your education. It just a matter of finding the right balance. It can be done you just have to be willing to talk it out and compromise. Remeber it can be a lot worse than it is now. He could be whoring around behind your back, drinking and drugging and not paying the bills. Just talk to him.
You have every right to feel this way..
We as women take a lot from our husband. We give them to much credit and make up excuses for them.
I understand where you are coming from. My husband is the same way. He put his job first before family.
I feel the same way you do.. I feel my children and I are neglected by my husband.
I tell him all the time how I feel and he says I have to work… I understand he have to work to make money. But I would wish he would see family is important too.
The kids and I will go to the park and do other things together without him.
I do know this much ONE DAY your husband, mines and who ever elsehusband who is treating their family this way WILL REGRET it!
One day if its not to late they will want to spend time with their family.
They fail to realize the children suffer and want their time.. Yet, out husband’s don’t think its important.
When the kids get older they will see who has been there for them.. Then our husband’s will want to spend time with them.. But it might be to late because kids grow up so fast.
All I can say is pray things will get better.. Also, if you can find work online to be on the safe side.
I am a full time student, and a full time mom.. I am getting myself together just in case I have to leave…
So be on the safe side just in case things get old.. Sooner or later we will get tired of the mistreatment.. That’s exactly what it is because all we want is a little of their time… That is not hard to ask!
ONE DAY THEY ARE GOING TO WISH THEY MADE A LITTLE TIME..
Good luck!